Motherhood

I caught myself the other day in a daydream.  I started feeling sorry for myself in this daydream and the more I stewed the deeper I sunk in self pity.  I thought of all the things I had done that day and how not one person even recognized or acknowledged any of it.  I felt I had worked really hard that particular day.  I had a pretty clean house, empty hampers, vacuumed car, dinner with dessert, and dishes cleaned to show for it and still...nothing!

Suddenly I realized I needed to snap out of it.  Really...do I need someone patting me on the back saying, "way to go Raenie, good job sorting those socks" or "wow, you really did a good job scrubbing that stain out of my shirt".  How ridiculous that sounds.

I also remembered a story I once heard from a husband about his wife.  He was saying how he was about to head out the door one morning, like usual, but felt prompted to go back to his wife who was in the bathroom getting ready for the day and tell her one more time that he loved her.  As he walked into the bathroom he saw that she was crying.

He took a few moments to hug her and tell her that he loved her and appreciated all that she does for him and their 6 children.  She confided in him that she had been feeling so overwhelmed and under appreciated lately.  She was so glad that he had come back to her and had taken the time to listen, it was just what she needed.

I guess we all have moments when life just gets overwhelming and we go on with our lives selfishly thinking how much we've done for others but don't stop to think what others have done for us.  Whenever I start feeling like this, I always think about all the things Charlie has done because it's so easy to start taking score.  If I find myself taking score, I always win!  But it's not fair because I know every little thing I did that day but I don't (and can't) know every little thing Charlie did that day.  It's just not fair to do that...so instead I think about how much better I feel since I got x,y,z done, and how lucky I am that I don't have to do x,y,z that Charlie has done.

We all work in different ways.

Now that we are a family of six I know "there will be days like this" when I will feel overwhelmed and under appreciated...it's happened and it will happen again and again.  It will be up to me to figure out how I'm going to react in these situations.  The important thing for me is to always stay close to my Savior, to read my scriptures, and to pray.  When I do those things I'm a better mom and a better person.  That's my challenge!